static between us.

I used to answer every message,

laughter seep soft light through open blinds,

but now the blinds, they’re stuck

the light burns now.

My friends still knock, 

of course they do,

they’re amazing.

yet, their voices soft

like they’re afraid to wake,something inside me.

But I’m already awake—

too awake,

trapped in the sad silence of my own mind,

where everything moves too fast

or just not at all.

I tell them I’m tired,

but it’s not the kind of tired

that sleep can solve.

It’s the kind that seeps into your bones,

turns your reflection into static,

your name into a stranger’s.

I scroll past their life,

their plans,

their happiness—

and guilt claws at my throat.

till I can no longer breathe

“just let me breathe.”

I argue with myself, knowing it’s no use.

They think I don’t care.

But I do.

I just can’t reach them, not yet…

the brick walls my mind has built around my body.

One day, maybe,

I’ll remember how to open the door again.

Until then,

please know—

the distance isn’t rejection.

It’s survival.

and i NEED to survive.

for me,

for them,

for my future.

such a higher cost

I can’t yet calculate.